When I was 13 and a Freshman in High School, my mom told my ten year old brother and me that she was going to have a baby. Since I was an observant (snoopy) teenaged girl, I’d worked out something was going on because my mom had prenatal pills hanging out in the bathroom. My mom is not exactly a master spy.
While she was pregnant (at 40. With my brother who would come out at ELEVEN POUNDS.) my mom used the experience to put the fear of you-know-who (yes, I mean Voldemort) in me by forcefully telling me “Women in our family get pregnant VERY easily.” So I made VERY responsible choices throughout my teenage years and after.
When Joel and I got engaged, wayyyy back in April of 2018, (after a mere four months of dating) it was in part because we didn’t want to dawdle on starting a family together and for us it was important to be married before that happened. We talked about a variety of options and we figured we’d give biological kids a shot, and if that wasn’t in the cards for us we’d both be completely on board with fostering and/or adoption. Families are made in SO many different and wonderful ways (including our own families of origin!) so I wasn’t really worried about our family coming together through me specifically giving birth to our kids.
I have so many friends who have struggled with infertility and I just figured that with my job as a Flight Attendant it could be a challenge we’d have to face. (Flight Attendants have a harder time getting pregnant and a higher rate of miscarriage than the general public does.) I assumed that it would take six months to a year to get pregnant, and planned on that. Turns out I was wrong and my mom was right. Wedding night babies are a thing, kids. Watch out.
So now, we’re waiting on Little Sparkle Bright to join us in February 2020. Accio Baby!
Answers to some questions you might have:
Baby is currently going by “Sparkle” and we’re trying to use they/them pronouns since we don’t know their sex yet. We likely won’t be sharing Sparkle’s birth certificate name publicly until after they’re born, because it feels kind of jinxy to monogram stuff pre-arrival for me. But…get it? Sparkle is…….almost Bright?!?! Good luck, kiddo. I’m the worst. Once we know their biological sex, we’ll use gendered pronouns unless they indicate otherwise to us.
No, we don’t know the baby’s biological sex yet. Yes, we are planning to find out ASAP. It won’t really make much of a difference in our choices for decor or clothes. If Sparkle is a boy I’m still going to have pink stuff involved because I LOVE PINK and I’m the one who has to LOOK at his accessories- plus gendered color assignments are ridiculous. (Did you know that pink used to be a “boy color” and blue was a “girl color”?) If Sparkle is a girl I’m similarly going to force myself to resist painting EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD PINK because imposing society’s rigid gender rules on babies isn’t fair either. Though if Sparkle expresses a preference for pink and glitter I WILL BE THE MOST EXCITED. We likely won’t be sharing baby’s sex publicly before they arrive.
Sparkle is due right around Valentine’s Day! Sparkle keeps measuring ahead of schedule, so we’ll see how that pans out. My mom had giant babies and Joel wasn’t exactly petit when he arrived. Keep me in your thoughts. It might get weird. (BTW My mom’s birthday is February 15th and Galentine’s Day is February 13th so if Sparkle arrives early or on time we’re celebrating with cake and/or waffles.)
I’m feeling pretty ok, but I’m not flying right now. Not 100% but I’m also luckily not battling severe HG either. I haven’t been flying because that’s a choice I’ve made personally so far in my pregnancy. I’m bummed to be missing out on summer flying (Paris. First class. International.) but I’m trusting my instincts and medical advice that flying isn’t the best choice for me (and Sparkle!) right now. We’ll see if that changes! And how does Joel feel about that? Joel is on board with everything, at all times, forever.
So are you a mommy blogger now? I keep trying to get used to the idea that I am 1/3 of the way to becoming an official MOM. Like, WHAT?!? I was never a little girl who dreamed of being “Mommy” one day, and it’s more than a little disorienting to be grafting that onto my identity. SO COOL and also, how is this allowed?? Imposter syndrome is hiding around every new transition.
Now that I’m knocked up, I FINALLY get why Mommy Blogging culture is a thing: this is experience is simultaneously BIZARRE and completely mundane. There are so many questions and confusing things in this process: every symptom is either an indicator that absolutely nothing is wrong or that EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY A DISASTER. You turn to your friends for advice, and pretty constantly: the internet.
So honestly, yeah, my content is about to get pretty preggo/mom centric. But like, in a fun way…I hope. One of the WORST parts about keeping this a secret so far has been that I haven’t been able to share most of my daily life on my Instagram Story. #millennialproblems